and now

I decided that Xanga died, finally, so here I am. I am moving the imprint of my very soul to this blogspot. Xanga stopped being about the words, so I called out. Besides that, I'm in a whole new phase of my life, which, I think, deserves a fresh start & new journal. Yes? Yes.

My old xanga will forever be open, however. Feel free to visit if you like: www.xanga.com/aniness

Anyway.

As I look back on my writing from a mere two months ago, I'm amazed as to how it can possibly only have been two months since. And I'm amazed that I have already been in Seattle for sixth months. This marks my two-thirds of the way through the school year. A few more months and I fly back to Hong Kong.

I've been meaning to faithfully journal and keep track of my thoughts, because I know what a process this has been/is continuing to be. However life has been life, and that is my excuse for failing to write as much as I would have liked. I'm stunned by how far I've come. Stunned that it has happened in two months. I feel like I've grown in leaps and bounds.

"Good things take time, but great things happen all at once." I know that Rat Race might not be the most philosophical and intelligent movie to quote (although it seriously questions human greed and motivation), but seriously. It's so true. And now I have an answer to my previous question of waiting for God to unravel The Intricate Plan. I know it's not fully unravelled yet, and that's what's so exciting about living. I can't wait to see what He throws at me next, it's fun.

God never fails to amaze me with His impeccable timing and insight into exactly what I need and when I need it. My life, though others may not be able to so easily recognise it, is a testimony of God's provision and grace. I am so lucky to be where I am and to have what I have, even though I don't always appreciate it like I should (I daresay I never appreciate it as much as I should). I'm continually amazed at what is happening in my life. It's funny, but I suppose it shouldn't be surprising, how God is always one step ahead of me on everything. Maybe that's why He's so quiet sometimes. When I pray He's just sitting up there chuckling and all "just wait to see what I've got lined up for you next". Well guess what, God, I can't wait. Bring it on.

I'm through the bitterness and the anger. I feel like I wrestled them to the end, it is an exhausted subject. And finally I'm not only accepting this life, but I'm making the most of it. I'm engaging in it. I'm beginning to give, and in giving I'm beginning to receive infinitely more than I could have imagined ever getting out of this experience. It's ok, you can read that sentence again. I did.

So really I'm excited. I'm looking forward now.

Don't get me wrong, I am by no means saying that everything is perfect and that that is the only reason for my joy. Hellz no. I still struggle with pain and sorrow; I still reminisce x 97834782. But I'm refusing to dwell in it. Refusing to fuel those emotions, because it won't get me anywhere.

I'm actually excited.
:]