what the world wants

too much.
not enough.
a chance.
a break.

i break my own heart every day,
along with multiple others.
trust me, i don't need any help
on that front.

i don't know if you knew.
i wish you did.
i guess.

then maybe
you'd look at me differently
in the cold harsh light
of reality.
and i'm sorry
if i avoid you.
all i'm really avoiding
is myself.

it's true.
i'm fucked up
left and right,
down and centre.
and maybe up
but i don't really know
which way that even is.

if you catch my drift.

drifting is what i am.
and drifter is who.
bound to the life
of a gypsy.

it's not anyone.
it's me,
and it's not pretty.

today i compared my life
to a flaming pile.
at least it burns,
my best friend told me.

i kind of wish
it would just explode.