Dream

Last night
I saw you.
You were just as beautiful
as I remember,
with that laugh, smile,
twist of the wrist.
A mirage from my past
in the quiet hours
of the night,
behind my sleeping eyes
I saw you.
I remember the desperate
feeling of longing
and the way
you couldn't see me
and the way
I couldn't touch you
when I stretched out my hand.
I remember how painful
it was.
Painful to see
the very image
of you,
knowing that it wasn't you.
Painful to hear your words
and resounding laugh,
but not be heard in return.
I wanted,
so badly,
to tell you
how much I still love you,
and that I think of you daily.
And you were there,
right there,
but you weren't there
at all.
Nothing but empty space
my mind fills with thoughts
and memories
and desires.
Nothing but the embodiment
of pain mingled with nostalgia.
Nothing.
My inability to reach you,
to have ever reached you,
still brings me to my knees.
The world suffered a blow
the instant you departed
and the world has yet
to recover.
Mind tricks;
thoughts reverting back
to times you breathed
because I still can't cope
with the fact
that you don't.
Despite all the beliefs
I've watched burn in the furnace
I like to think that perhaps
you sprouted wings
and learned the harp
if only because I know that
that thought would make you
crack a joke.