The Fifth Promise

Promise number one,
that I'll tell you before it happens.
Promise number two,
that I'll call
and schedule an appointment.
An appointment for emotional health,
if one can schedule such a thing.
Promise number three,
that I'll keep you in the loop.
Not to worry,
you'll be in the know
in regards
to my mental degradation.
My steady deterioration
into nothing,
or a perverted and skewed
everything.
Promise number four,
that we'll run away together
with the clothes on our backs
and the money and cigarettes
in our pockets.

The fifth and final promise;
to myself:
that I'll get out.
Out of this rut.
Out of here.
I will live.
I will travel.
I will see,
experience,
taste
and love.
And then,
dear friends,
I will die.

Darkness on the Face of the Deep: Alternate Universes

I want to sleep.
Maybe in my dreams I'll have the strength to weep.
In the beginning there was chaos.
And there is now.
And there will always be
chaos.
Chance and probability-
did these make you take your life?
Divine injustice, playing with dice?
Is there a happier you in an alternate universe?
A happier us?
Happiness?
If only I had a space shuttle faster than the speed of light.
I would travel throughout the abyss
to gather all that the multiverse has to offer of you,
to bring you back to earth.
You must be out there somewhere.
Laughing, singing, playing.
I wish voices could stretch across aeons.

In theory, every possible you I could imagine should exist.
Somewhere.
Am I grasping at straws?