The Rabbit Hole

Have you ever felt
that you were
tumbling
down
the
rabbit
hole?

Things couldn't possibly get worse,
and then they do
they do
they do
and then they do some more?

You are Alice,
but you aren't in Wonderland.
Definitely not;
but you wish
that you were.
Wonderland
sounds
nice.

The Madhatter is laughing at you,
and the Cheshire Cat is leering.
The Queen of Hearts wants you dead,
and honestly you wouldn't mind complying.

what the world wants

too much.
not enough.
a chance.
a break.

i break my own heart every day,
along with multiple others.
trust me, i don't need any help
on that front.

i don't know if you knew.
i wish you did.
i guess.

then maybe
you'd look at me differently
in the cold harsh light
of reality.
and i'm sorry
if i avoid you.
all i'm really avoiding
is myself.

it's true.
i'm fucked up
left and right,
down and centre.
and maybe up
but i don't really know
which way that even is.

if you catch my drift.

drifting is what i am.
and drifter is who.
bound to the life
of a gypsy.

it's not anyone.
it's me,
and it's not pretty.

today i compared my life
to a flaming pile.
at least it burns,
my best friend told me.

i kind of wish
it would just explode.